Every since I was diagnosed, I dreamed of being healed from this condition. Lupus was always a burden that I felt prevented me from normalcy. Over the years, I’ve been on almost every medication available. I’ve tried natural remedies. I went vegan. If there was something that I thought might make it go away, I’d try it.
It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I finally just accepted that lupus wasn’t going anywhere. This was after suffering over 20 years. All of the things I tried over the years helped for a while, but then I’d get sicker and give up hope. Sometimes I wonder if it was my lack of discipline that never gave any of those things a chance to work.
Well now I’m faced with my latest obstacle. I’m supposed to start dialysis. My doctor told me to decide which type I would want. However, I decided that I want to find a way to prolong going on dialysis. I’m just not mentally ready to accept that as my fate.
A friend of mine referred me to a Chinese herbalist. I prayed about it, and I decided to give it a try. Upon walking in to her office, she looked at my face and told me I had severe kidney disease. Of course this piqued my interest since I hadn’t disclosed to her why I was there.
She then gave me a list of foods to avoid and those I should eat. The list to avoid consisted of all the things I typically eat, so that was going to be a challenge. She then prescribed me some herbs that I was to boil and drink. She said that after a month I’d see an improvement in my kidney function.
Today is my first day following the diet and drinking the herbal concoction. I’m not sure which was worse, fighting sugar cravings or getting the herbal liquid down. In either case, I’m going to stick with it because I am desperate.
I know there are many lupies who are on dialysis and who have been transplanted. And perhaps I’m just delaying the inevitable. I just know that I’m not ready to stop trying to find another way to survive.
This is only my journey. I am not looking to influence anyone’s medical decisions. I’m just sharing my own.