What Now?

It’s hard to believe that I started off the year being optimistic. I really wanted things to be better. I still do. And it is just February, so maybe there is still hope. But it’s hard to stay positive when each time I visit a doctor I get bad news. *cue The Wiz*

This blog wasn’t supposed to be a space for me to rant. However, I’m just really tired of setbacks. I don’t really have anything positive to say. I’m getting weaker and that scares me. I have always been fiercely independent. I am a caregiver. I don’t have anyone to take care of me, even if I wanted that.

Nothing scares me more than the thought of being unable to take care of myself. It’s that thought that pushes me to go to work when I should probably be in some emergency room. I know this is risky, and I can’t keep ignoring how I feel. I have to find hope from somewhere that I’ll get better. Otherwise, I don’t know what I’ll do.

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