I’m hardly ever at a loss for words, but this past week I’ve been overwhelmed. I couldn’t think of anything positive to say. I don’t want this to be the complaining blog. There are plenty of people who are worse off than me, so I am blessed. However, I can’t shake this sadness I feel.
I’ve been working with therapists for years to get through childhood trauma and the emotional aspects of lupus, so I have plenty of strategies to help me not sink into depression. But I just feel blah. I’m overworked, but it’s my fault. I have this drive to prove myself. I want to be an expert in my field.
I’m also tired of coming home from work and having to do everything. I’m an only parent to a 12 year old who is only motivated to play video games. His homework feels like work for me because I’m constantly reteaching him. It’s hard for me to accept that he has so much trouble understanding his assignments because I never needed help with my homework. Learning has always come naturally for me.
I’m also in school working on my doctorate degree. I don’t have the energy to read and research. I just want to watch DVRed TV. Laundry and other chores have been piling up because I don’t want to stand when I get home.
I don’t want to complain, but this is why I have writer’s block.